Laws in the US against spanking?

In class this week we are continuing our look at learning and guidance for young children, with a specific focus on discipline and the use of punishment as a tactic.

We've discussed our attitudes about spanking as a discipline practice, and motivations for why some (many) parents continue to use the practice, even on an occasional basis. And those who do, generally do have a variety of discipline practices. There is division however, about the value and effectiveness of spanking for helping children learn the limits that are valuable for their self-regulation and socialization. And questions about the impacts on the relationship with the parent and what else children learn from being spanked (fear? avoiding punishment rather than problem solving? the promotion of use of physical force and acceptance of violence as a resolution?).

And there are questions about the practice when it is nearly exclusively used by parents (adults with larger bodies, brains and strength) with small children (as in small bodies and brains). As a power assertive technique toward discipline, there is the very real potential that it can escalate to something more than getting the child's attention or reminding a child that the parent disagrees with the behavior (Exhibit A: Adrian Peterson). There is the possibility when adrenaline flows and strikes come with more force, that a child can be injured, and can suffer from abuse. And when it gets to that level, as we know from our discussion about toxic stress and the brain, that child most certainly isn't learning much about the actual problem that started the whole situation.

These questions have led to policy movements in the US toward enacting laws around spanking. Other countries outside the US do have policies that prohibit spanking or physically striking a child. Not so much in the US. Primarily our policies step in when a child has been injured or abused. Spanking is permissible but only to the point that it is used 'reasonably'.  

Please see the following short article from Time magazine in 2014: http://time.com/3379862/child-abuse/.  It lays out some of the efforts that states have made toward passing legislation, and the barriers. Based on our discussion of attitudes in class, this shouldn't be too surprising.

Nevertheless, what are your thoughts on this? Do you believe that we should have anti-spanking laws in the US? If so, should they be within states or would it be federal? How might these be enacted, and what definitions would be in place. Does your personal history or current experience inform your view? 

At the heart of this, do you feel that parents know what is 'reasonable' in the degree to which they use of physical punishment like spanking? If going to the extreme of legislation isn't necessary in your view, then what would you advocate for, so that parents employ strategies for teaching their children (especially young children) limits that are effective in the short and long term, that teach children prosocial and constructive lessons, and that maintain the quality of the parent-child relationship?  

Are children better off when a parent stays home?

Suppose you picked up the phone one day and a survey researcher asked you the following questions:

1. Answer the following statement. Children with 2 parents are a) better off with a parent at home or b) just as well off when parents work.

2. Which parent should stay home?
a) Mother
b) It doesn't matter?

How would you respond?

Consider your answers, then check out the results to those questions posed to a random selection of US citizens by the Pew organization: http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/10/10/most-americans-say-children-are-better-off-with-a-parent-at-home/

You'll see demographic differences in people's responses - based on characteristics like age, gender, religious affiliation, and ethnicity.

How do your own sentiments compare to those of the survey sample, and to those who represent you in the data?

And what do you think these responses say about what people believe 'better off' for children really means? A serious consideration is that many parents don't have a choice around work, full or part time, as it is an economic necessity for the family. If that's the case, then would those who believe that children are 'better off' with a parent at home also be willing to pay more taxes to give non-working parents a subsidy to cover what they aren't earning? On the other hand, are those who believe that children are not better off with a parent at home, willing to support what it takes for our country to provide high quality child care for all children of working parents?

What do you think?

Toddler Tantrum at Nighttime

As we move to the next section of the course we explore parent-child relationships during toddlerhood and early childhood. This is the ages of 18-mos to 3 years, and 3-6 years. This continues to be an incredibly active time for brain development and for the development of little bodies and physical abilities (walking, gaining fine and large motor control), cognition and learning, self-regulation and socialization.

As young children seek to explore and use their developing abilities, they misbehave. Or at least that's what it seems like to adults. And parents need to figure out how best to respond to their children when this happens. We'll be talking a lot about this during these weeks.

Please watch the following video: 

https://youtu.be/8s3F_gN_1wc?list=RD5IM1p-Tn-jA

And share your reactions to what you see. 

Consider a few things. What does Hannah want? How does her mother respond? What are the outcomes, or consequences of the interaction? What might be the impact on the relationship between Hannah and her mother (and possibly her father)? Does this signal anything to you about the relationship dynamics if they continue over time?

Or share other aspects of the video that you'd like to discuss. 

Attachment Disorder, Matt Damon Style

As we discussed insecure attachment classifications during class on Monday, a clip from Good Will Hunting (1997) was mentioned. That clip is below. If you aren't familiar with the film*, it's about a young man who is gifted but who has conduct issues. He is taken under the wing by a Math Professor at MIT, who invites a therapist friend to help him. The scene is between the main character, Will, (Matt Damon) and Sean, the therapist (Robin Williams).

After you watch the clip, discuss in the comment section the type of attachment you believe Will's file identifies for him and why. What is it about Will's behavior suggests this? What about his early parenting and family life suggests that Will's early attachment was insecure? How has that followed him into his adulthood? 

And, a bit of a journey into armchair psychology, but why might Will 'break' on Sean's persistent phrase, "It's not your fault?"

"It's Not Your Fault" (Good Will Hunting, 1997) 

* The film is currently streaming on Netflix (https://www.netflix.com/search/Good%20will%20Hunting?jbv=17405997&jbp=0&jbr=0) and available in most public libraries.

Attachment Parenting: How Much is Enough?

A few years ago, Time magazine ran this rather controversial cover:

with the inside story on attachment parenting (read the article here: http://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,2114427,00.html ).

In class we've been reading and talking about secure attachment and the benefits that it provides to early brain development, and as a basis through the secure base for learning, exploration, positive self-concept, and executive functioning. And in our observations of what sensitive parenting looks like, we used words in class like responsivity, bidirectionality, eye contact, warmth, smiling, language, and reciprocity.

Parents establish secure attachments with their children in a number of ways, and groups like Attachment Parenting International and the Circle of Security promote ways for parents to form nurturing bonds, express warmth, and offer a trusted base. Techniques recommended include baby wearing, co-sleeping, and birth bonding.

As the Time article notes, however, this can be demanding on parents, particularly mothers when breastfeeding and traditional expectations on caregiving are considered. When mothers are straddling work and infant caregiving, co-sleeping may not be a long term strategy if it leaves the parent tired. Might babywearing exacerbate back problems for some, leaving them to feel guilty for offering a 'good enough' environment? Are these additional efforts toward secure attachment necessary? And are they the concerns of those who are more privileged?

What do you think? What might be the essential ingredients for providing a secure attachment relationship for a baby?

Fathers.... and babies

In a too-rushed ending to our class on Wednesday, we talked about fathers and their roles in caregiving. Although we can debate family compositions and gender role requirements for happy lives and childrearing outcomes, men make up half of our population in the US or worldwide (or around there, depending on your source of statistics) and it's important that we focus on the impact they make on children through their relationships with them, and how we can support men in being nurturing fathers.

As a great transition to next week as we talk about the beginning of life and what babies need, here's the clip on fathers that was listed for week 2 in our class. It's from the "I Am Your Child" series. It's called 'To Be a Father." 

http://mediamill.cla.umn.edu/mediamill/display/79973 

Also, a picture from the new NBC series, "This is Us." As you watch the video (a bit dated but still relevant), consider the roles that fathers play in the new life that is a baby. How is it different, or as Ray Romano says, a transition from the way fathers used to be involved (or should we say, were 'only' involved)?

What factors influence how father's father their children? What do we want them to do and be for their children? And what messages to them support and reinforce caregiving as being more than 'the wallet' and 'the disciplinarian'?

Consider your own father, or the person who has functioned most closely as a father to you. What roles does this person play in your life (in concert or perhaps separate from your mother)? How has this person shaped who you are today?

Cultural Differences in Child Feeding

In Monday's class we began to explore the role of culture as an influence in childrearing and on the parent-child relationship. We discussed how a culture's norms and values are transmitted through parents through their actions and expectations of their children, in what they teach and how they teach it. We discussed how parents and families can differ along cultural continuua, encouraging for instance independence and others encouraging interdependence. Some families promoting more individualistic behaviors and others operating on more collecitivistic principles. And so on.

In this video clip*, we see parents representing different cultures all performing the same parenting task: providing an environment for a young child (or children) to learn about feeding, self-feeding, and eating.

As you watch this clip, what differences do you see? What motivations or values might the parent(s) have for feeding or encouraging eating and feeding in children as you observe it? What is the child learning from this? And how might the action represent facets of culture?

*click the link to open the video in another window. Click the small box in the lower right corner of the video to open to full screen.